Remembering Dad
Go back in there. Look the cashier in the eyes and tell them you stole this, you're a thief, and you'll never do it again.
That is what my Dad told me in the parking lot in the 3rd grade.
So, what did I do? I walked back into the store, handed the candy back to the cashier, and told her I stole it, was a thief, and would never do it again.
I never did.
Thanks, Dad.
Today is the anniversary of my Dad's passing. It's also a day that we remember Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and his leadership.
I thought it was fitting that Dad died on MLK day. He left a mark on my life and the lives of many others.
My Dad was on his deathbed, and I chose to go to work.
I think about and grieve him often.
I remember the day.
The doctors were telling us that he didn't have long.
I was trying to ignore what was right in front of me.
I didn't want to face it.
I was scared, sad, angry, and in disbelief.
I knew that my Dad wouldn't be around much longer.
Instead of feeling my emotions, I ignored them and pretended everything was normal.
I decided to go to work.
I was in a meeting, and I received a text from my little brother, "Dad is dead. Get to the hospital."
I let my team know what had happened, excused myself, and tried to hold back tears as I drove to the hospital.
But why did I decide to go to work?
I felt powerless - like there was nothing I could do for him.
I thought I could at least go to work and be helpful to other people.
Maybe you've been there?
Maybe you've been conditioned to look for ways to help others before helping yourself.
Me too.
It's OK to be selfish and take care of yourself.
If your battery is on E, you can't fully be of service to others.
Sometimes, I revisit my decision to go to work, and I beat myself up.
Then I remember that I made the decision I thought was right at the time.
If my Dad were sitting in front of me now, he would probably say, "It's OK, son, I know that you love me."
And I love you too, Dad.
It's OK to slow down and be instead of do.
It's OK to be selfish and take care of yourself.
It's OK to ask for help.
It's OK to feel your emotions.
It's OK to miss someone you love.
It's OK to be you.
During one of our last conversations, my Dad gave me a gift for how to live:
Be a blessing to those that can't give back.
Learn to forgive and don't keep tabs on what went wrong.
Sit down and talk. Don't have hidden agendas.
Inspire and encourage people. Let them know that you trust and believe in them.
The key to life is having an intimate relationship with the Lord.
Love you, Dad.
Be more you.
Shermain
