Being seen is expansive

It was easier for me to hide and be accepted for being someone I wasn't than to be seen and risk being rejected for being myself.

I hid a lot in my life. I'm an expert at hiding.

I grew up in the church and was afraid that if they found out my secret, I would be branded the gay sinner, get "the look" from everyone, and that people wouldn't want to be around me.

I thought that if my family and friends found out, I would be disowned, rejected, and tossed aside - out of love. Or even that I'd be sent away to conversion therapy.

I thought that if my employer found out, my career would be negatively impacted, and I'd be fired and become homeless.

I wasted a lot of time and energy thinking about how I might be perceived and the negative things that might happen - The what-ifs.

I was stressed out and found myself doing things like working extra hours and saying yes to things to prove that I was worthy because, on the inside, I felt ashamed about who I was.

I didn't love myself; I thought something was wrong with me and had to change myself to be accepted and loved.

Maybe you can relate?

I'd created a huge story about what might happen, which paralyzed me with fear.

I even pretended to be normal. I had a girlfriend and was even engaged to be married at one point in my life. I realized that it would've been unfair to her and to myself to live a lie. The marriage did not materialize.

I hid a part of who I was for 24 years - A gay black man.

When the church discovered my secret, they told me that I could not serve in a leadership capacity but could serve in other ways.

When my parents found out, they said, We love you anyway. No conversion therapy.

When my friends found out, some distanced themselves from me - mostly the ones from church.

My employer didn't fire me, and I didn't end up homeless.

Now, I speak authentically and confidently about who I am and my journey. I have a sense of freedom, confidence, and pride. Telling my story is one way to amplify my impact on the world.

I'm an expert at hiding and helping my clients be seen.

Where are you pretending?

What parts of yourself are you hiding? What shame are you carrying around?

Where do you want to be seen and more confident?

To amplify your impact, you've got to level up.

To level up, you've got to risk being seen.

Being seen requires courage.

And you can be courageous.

Oh, and data shows that the huge story we've created about the bad things that may happen if we do the scary thing seldom happens. It really is, "All in our head."

Get out of your head.

Be encouraged.

And.

Be in courage.

I'm here when you're ready to be supported at a higher level.

Be More You.

Shermain.