That’s fucked up

I am a member of The 4 Percent Club (4PC) with Rich Litvin, a private members club for high-level leaders and coaches. I attended a live event at Lake Como, Italy, this week and wrote about a moment of transformation.

I spoke these words in front of 30 powerful coaches from around the world.

Warning - I intentionally use the word fuck a lot! Although I intend not to offend you, feel free to stop reading if this word offends you. You've been warned!

That's fucked up

On August 19th, 2023, I became a murderer. I killed someone.

But don't worry, it was just a game - A murder mystery, in fact.

Two months earlier, I received an email with the news.

I had been chosen for this role. Me. One of the few black men in the group.

I fit the stereotype. A stereotype that I've tried to distance myself from all of my life.

And

That's fucked up.

There was a moment at the end of the event where I was on a stage surrounded by people I love most in this world, and I was placed in handcuffs.

This was one of my deepest fears.

Time slowed.

I was being cuffed by another man of color.

That was fucked up.

As I was being cuffed, I realized what was happening and quickly pulled away.

But there was a voice that asked me to put them back on for a fucking picture.

That's fucked up.

But you know what's really fucked up?

I had the power to stop what was happening to me, but I didn't.

I agreed to it.

I became silent.

I gave in to the pressure.

I wanted to be liked.

I didn't want to rock the boat.

I gave my power away.

That's fucked up.

I even asked for the proof of the fucked up moment to be erased - like it never happened.

I wanted this powerful, shameful moment to be hidden and gone forever.

That's fucked up.

Life is messy and full of fucked up moments.

And

Some of it you've created.

You're here to help people show up better in the midst of the messy and fucked up-ness.

Your job is to:

Stand in your power.

Forgive yourself often.

Speak truth to authority.

Speak truth to yourself.

Seek out discomfort.

That's where the growth is.

Especially when it feels scary. Remember, you can do scary things.

It took a lot of courage for me to put this out into the world.

If you're up to it, share a truth that requires courage.

With Truth and Love,

Shermain