Lead With Audacious Courage and Transform Your Church
I write to the Christian church leadership and congregation.
I am a born-again Christian, and one of my earliest childhood memories was attending Baptist churches. We would put on our Sunday best, attend Bible Study, the Worship Service, and potentially a lunch or "fellowship" at the church.
My Dad became energized by fellowshipping and connecting with others. He would give his time, money, and other resources to help the church succeed and serve people in need. He even decided to become an ordained minister towards the end of his life.
Dad learned to focus on two main things, which are still the primary focus in most churches today: loving God and loving others.
It was common for Dad to give, run out of resources, and then put everything on hold until he could rebuild the resources. He felt shame and guilt during the rebuilding periods and rarely took time to recharge his batteries.
He was living an unbalanced life.
In 1958 at Purdue University, with 3000 people in attendance, Dr. King presented two devotional addresses, compiled into a short book titled "The Measure of a Man." I'll focus on the address titled "Dimensions of a Complete Life."
Dr. King states that life as it should be, and life at its best is the life that is complete on all sides (length, breadth, and height).
Length: The inward concern for one's own welfare (self).
Love yourself and accept yourself instead of trying to be someone else. This is the dimension of life in which we are concerned with developing our internal power and pursuing our personal ambitions.
Before you can love others adequately, you must love yourself. That means being selfish and having rational and healthy self-interest. You are commanded to do that.
Breadth: The outward concern for the welfare of others (others).
Rise above your own concerns and towards the broader concerns of all humanity.
Dr. King describes the parable of the good Samaritan. If you're unfamiliar, the parable is about a man who gets robbed and beaten on the Jericho road. In modern times, this road would be in the scary, rough part of town where you'd roll your windows up, lock the doors and try to get through as quickly as possible.
Picture the man lying on the ground, hurting, and two people, one a priest, walk past him, thinking, "If I stop and help this man, what will happen to me?" The good Samaritan approaches and has the opposite thought, "If I don't stop to help this man, what will happen to him?" He was willing to take a risk for another human.
Love your neighbor as yourself. You are commanded to do that.
Height: The upward reach for God (God).
Seek God and discover him and make him a power in your life. Without him, all of our efforts turn to ashes, and our sunrises into darkest nights. Without him, life is a meaningless drama with the decisive scenes missing. But with him, we are able to rise from the fatigue of despair to the buoyancy of hope. With him, we are able to rise from the midnight of desperation to the daybreak of joy.
Love the Lord thy God with all of your heart, soul, and mind. You are commanded to do that.
Without the three being correlated and working harmoniously together, life is incomplete.
In my experience, there are dangers of living an unbalanced life. Here are 6 for your consideration:
1. Stress and Anxiety: An unbalanced life can cause increased stress and anxiety due to feeling overwhelmed and unable to prioritize tasks.
2. Poor Health: An unbalanced life can lead to poor physical and mental health due to lack of exercise, poor nutrition, and inadequate rest.
3. Relationship Struggles: Unfulfilled dreams can cause tension in relationships due to frustration, guilt, and resentment.
4. Unfulfillment: An unbalanced life can lead to a lack of purpose and meaning, making it difficult to find true satisfaction and joy.
5. Financial problems: An unbalanced life can result in a lack of financial stability due to a lack of time and energy to pursue meaningful and profitable opportunities.
6. Low Self-Esteem: Unfulfilled goals and ambitions can lead to feelings of low self-worth and self-doubt.
In my experience, it is vital to prioritize and take care of our needs to live a balanced life. Loving ourselves is crucial. It is okay to be selfish and prioritize our well-being. Doing this builds our internal power and enables us to pursue our ambitions.
Here are a few tips for both church leadership and congregation to develop your internal power and pursue your personal ambitions:
Congregation
Strengthen your circle
The people in your circle have the power to influence your growth heavily. They can keep you at your current level or propel you higher. Evaluate them and make changes that will serve you and help you win.
I've created the Growth Circle Audit Exercise, a fillable PDF to help you get started.
[Growth Circle Audit Exercise]
Keep your energy high
There are people, places, and things that give us energy and zap it. It's much easier to go after and achieve what you want when your energy is higher. Said another way, I believe that if you intentionally walk into more places and spaces that raise your energy vibration, you will vibrate at that higher energy level. When this happens, you feel lighter and can create more opportunities for yourself.
I've created an Energy Audit Exercise, a fillable PDF, to help you get started.
Get excited about your possibilities
In my experience, if you want to improve your life, you must improve your thinking. Our beliefs create our thoughts which create our actions. What you believe becomes your reality.
If you believe you'll never get that job, have that relationship, or create the abundance you want, you're right. I know that stings a little, but your thinking is powerful.
If you believe that you can get that job, your thinking evolves. You might ask yourself, What skills do I need to acquire? What research can I do? Who do I know that may have more wisdom than I do about this? The key is having the courage to take action on these new questions.
I’ve created the What If exercise, a fillable PDF to help you draw out opportunities and take action.
Leadership
Modify one Sunday morning message per month
Most Christian churches I have attended offer a Sunday morning service, which is when most people attend. However, if available, personal development experiences are offered on a different day, during the week in most cases. Consider changing this.
Preach, teach, and model living a complete life by modifying one Sunday morning message to loving yourself [developing your internal power and pursuing your personal ambitions].
Give examples, tools, exercises, tips, and resources. Over time, you can even level it up from a message to an experience. Make it fun and interactive. You'll gain differentiation, improve your credibility, serve your congregation deeper, and the church will become more excited, connected, and grow.
Develop winning partnerships
Partner with organizations to help you, your leadership, and your congregation win. Hire a coach or invest in experiences to help you and your leadership see your blind spots and expose you to new ways of thinking.
Reinforce
Most church leaders do a great job of reminding the congregation to love God and love others. Don't forget to constantly remind the congregation that:
Selfish is not a bad word, and to strive for balance.
It's okay to pursue your personal interests and to thrive financially and emotionally. After all, Abraham, Isaac, Job, King David, and others mentioned in the Bible were wealthy. Having wealth is not a sin. Give them resources to build a wealthy mindset and legacy.
It's okay to say no. Saying no allows people to say yes to something more important to them. Help them let go of the guilt.
I dream of a church where joy, acceptance, healing, and harmony thrive—inspiring, modeling, and motivating each of us to live balanced and complete lives.
Creating this requires not just courage, but audacious courage.
Audacious courage is a higher degree of courage. It's a bold willingness to confront the status quo and risk damage to one's heart and reputation in pursuit of what is most important to one's heart and soul.
I believe in you, and, if you want support, I’ve got your back.
Be audaciously courageous.
Shermain Melton
